RILLETTES

When earthenware crock K brought me back from Deutschland magically fills with rendered pork fat I have two options. Cassoulet or rillettes. Tony Sylvester, a man's man who should have at least one goddamned cocktail named for him at this point in his young life, encouraged me to lean in rillettes' general direction. I did. Exact words, upon learning of said pork fat accumulation, were: "Rillettes. Or pot the fuck out of anything. If it moves, pot it." Well. To the butcher...

Rillettes essentially? French deviled ham. Fundamentally? It's confit. Meat cooked slower than slow in own fat. Consitency varies. Had some no different than gooey pate. Had others far too stiff to spread. Always looking for something in between those extremes. A rillettes with integrity, with shape, but spreadable. Not too much to ask for. I dare to shit you.

Dust-covered lore calls for pork belly slow-cooked in lard. When only belly availible is "salt pork," substitute with a well-marbled shoulder. Bone in, please. Grab your boning knife. Work meat from it; chop into quarter-inch hunks. Heat a few tablespoons of fat on stove. Add chopped pork. Keep flame low. Mixture should tremble, never boil. Once pork turns golden, season: Black and white pepper, herbes de provence, scant sea salt. Rather than tend to pork for better half of five hours, I move it to the crockpot once it's gathered good color.

Again: Watch the mixture. No boiling. Boiling will cause the meat to brown and seize up. Keeping the cook below a boil isn't easy. Hawk watching, yes, but less vigilant than if it was on the stove-top. Use this as an excuse to tie one on. Pop in one of those unbearably arty Criterion DVDs that runs three to four hours. A glass of something Kentuckian. Nothing says Yule like Swedish arthouse (Fanny & Alexander in my case) and Bourbon (Wild Turkey, 101 proof). Before you know it: Time to pot. Here's hoping you've secured necessary vessels, sterlized, dried, ready for action.

Strain fat from pork. Reserve said fat. Pull pork bits apart with fork. They should shred easily. Check seasoning. May need a bit more. Mace, allspice, juniper are common. I'm not interested in my rillettes tasting like holiday cookies, so I eschew them. Once all meat is shredded, begin stuffing the jars. Add fat. Add meat. Fat. Meat. Top off with good 1/4 inch of fat. Let cool and then seal.

You'll be the "Frenchest" motherfucker on your street if you simply keep 'em out in the kitchen - so long as the house temp stays below 70 degrees. Well potted rillettes keep for six months. But they'll be long gone by then. Crusty bread, cornichon, a spread of rillettes, beer... Almost makes me feel festive.