MELITZANOSALATA

Or for non-Greek speakers, Eggplant salad. I fucking love this shit. A proud middle Georgian brought me two football-sized eggplants from his garden last week. They were heavy, thumpable. I thumped. Co-workers thumped. They sorta sounded like Bill Ward's drumkit. Then they rested on the kitchen counter for several days. Finally, I found the energy to pull the processor down out of the top cabinet.

This stuff goes by a lot of different names: Baba Gannouj or Patlican salatsi or Baingan Bartha... They all differ a bit in spice and presentation, but they all require quality eggplant. Here I halved my footballs, rubbed them with olive oil and roasted them until soft. Scooped out the flesh, added tahini, garlic, lemon juice and cayenne pepper to the processor and pulsed, pulsed. Spooned out into my favorite blue bowl and drizzled with olive oil.

Slather the stuff on pita or warm nann and pretend you've got a camel between your legs and a village to raid. Fix your keffiyeh. Check your AK's action. Hope it isn't jammed with sand. Scan the horizon for infidels, etc. If that's not your vibe then try some Hellenic bit with agora and young men that need "breaking in." I personally stick with the terrorist thing. Call me ambitious.