OPEN SIGHTS TARTARE

First you'll need to kill a deer. Or find someone who does that sort of thing and would be stupid enough to give you the tenderloin. Then you'll maybe need to get over your issues with eating raw meat. If Bear Grylls does it twice a week, you can do it once a year. It's festive. It's fun. And maybe like the ancient lore says, you'll take on the spirit of the animal by eating it in its base form. Just don't get hit by a car in the wee hours.

Once you've secured a tenderloin you'll need to trim it of all the silverskin. Slice the loin into medallions and slice them into dice. You'll want a consistency like rough, loose hamburger. Keep the venison in the fridge while you work with the other ingredients. Muddle anchovies, capers, and mustard with an egg yolk (farm fresh eggs, please). Chop red onion and parsley finely then finer finest. Add venison to the anchovy, caper, mustard, egg mixture. Incorporate. Add remaining ingredients. Dash of Tabasco, Lea & Perrins. Shape and top with an egg yolk.

Venison, handled correctly, has no equal. Grab some toast and try to keep from smearing it all over your face.